After the testosterone levels have been checked fine and all the crying on my part, he still has no intimate sexual performance desire drive to touch me or for intercourse. It is making me physically sick as well as emotionally sick. I seek for my purpose with my husband if I can not turn him on sexually. I get offers all the time from men for sex so I can’t be repulsive, can I?
He claims to not understand what I am talking about when I say there is a problem. Now I am getting desperate to get his attention. I cry myself to sleep while he just goes to sleep and snores, unaffected by my hurt and pain. Needing to get his attention, mixed with anger because he is unaffected by my hurt, I am now thinking “how can I get his attention”. Would he finally realize my pain, if he found me swinging from a rope. He tells me I am just mean when I blow up out of frustration.
I get mad at myself for putting on a sexy night gown thinking that stupid me could turn him on. I think that I must be a stupid looking cow to him, even though I am not over weight. Is there anyone out there that knows what I feel like because right now I feel so alone in the world and completely mis understood. Is his inhibited hypoactive sexual drive lacking guys Libido or stress for medical concerns to see a doctor?
Your’s was such a very sad post. I cannot even imagine the mental, emotional, stress and sexual frustration you are going through. Yes, I’m sure you do feel inadequate, cold, neglected and misunderstood.
Thank you for stating that he had his testosterone level checked and that it is okay. Now you know that at least is not the problem. The problem may be Inhibited (Hypoactive) Sexual Desire.
Is your husband under a lot of STRESS be it mental or physical? Stress can be a huge killer of libido (desire for sex).
Missy, from what you have written in your post, I don’t believe you are the cause for why he is so unattentive to you.
If you would be so kind as to answer the question I have asked, then I’ll be able to better give you some additional thoughts.
If you truly love him, try to get him to a counselor. I had a very high drive when I was younger and after I married, it almost quit. I was working long, hard hours and under a lot of self-imposed stress to be a good provider. I wish that my ex had only talked with me and stood by me. Instead, she felt I was not attracted to her and nothing could’ve been further from the truth. I did not even know what was going on until 2 years later when I was diagnosed with performance anxiety disorder and chronic depression.
Perhaps if we had seeked help earlier, we would still be together. Not saying that is why we divorced, but it was the beginning of many other problems. Be honest, understanding, supportive for someone who is feeling inadequate, cold and neglected, and let him know you love him. If you can get him to realize what is causing his low libido (which he may not even know it’s abnormal) that will be another confirmation of your commitment to the relationship. Sounds like he’s depressed and maybe a bit embarrassed. Be gentle. Has he tried Viagra? Sometimes that helps with self-confidence.