Hi anyone who’s reading, I’ve been married for 23 years now and we have one child. About eight years ago my wife had an affair which didn’t last all that long and it got resolved in the end. We both put it down to the old mid life crisis stuff and carried on. After that however she became increasingly indifferent sexually.

I tried talking about it and asked if was me that she had a problem with, she said it wasn’t but over the next two years things slowly tappered off more and more. I’ve continued to ask from time to time how she feels about it all and I don’t really get much of an answer. She says she is not unhapppy, doesn’t want anyone else but just doesn’t have the interest anymore for making love. It has now been six years since we have actually made love. She says it is more than likely that it is menopause that is causing it. I guess I’ve pretty much given up on asking anymore as it seems to get her upset. Other than that we are actually really happy together, we always were good friends.

The thing is that now I am starting to think about other women which is something I hadn’t done up till now. I haven’t been with another woman since we were married and just thinking about it makes me feel as guilty as hell, almost as if I actually had done so. I guess I just can’t see any way out of this, I can’t and won’t force her by way of blackmail or anything like that. I guess I’m just tired of feeling like this. Six years is a long time to wait. I don’t want to be unfaithful but I don’t want the rest of my life to be like this either.

Niner edited question