Dating and Staying Safe and Sober in the Modern World
Where can men go to meet women these days? When asked this question many men will answer that the only place they can go is to a club or bar. But what kinds of women do they meet at these places?
And what about those men who are non-drinkers or who are working to change their substance use habits? Whereas many men used to hit the bars every weekend looking to find love for the night or for life, there are now many other options. Single people now have access to a vast array of dating apps right on their smart phones such as Tinder, Jackd, Clipchat, Down and Whisper, to name a few.
While many people use these apps safely and without issue, it is important to know some of the risks associated with using them. What makes users vulnerable is that the app utilizes a map overlay from either Google or Apple, depending on the individual’s phone. All smart phones are now equipped with GPS that literally tracks the phone’s location, and that map overlay pinpoints the exact phone location at any given moment in time.
Additionally, anyone can go online and create a profile whether real or bogus. This means that if you are searching to meet someone special you truly have no clue who may be on the other end of that profile. It could be a minor (under 17), a sex offender, a violent criminal or someone who has a serious drug or alcohol problem. These apps were certainly not created for predators, however they are sometimes used by people who are only seeking a one-night-stand or have more sinister motives. While many women are aware of the risks and take precautions, this is not always the case for men.
If you are uncomfortable using these apps, there are safer ways to meet new, positive people. Sometimes, simply stopping and taking a good look around you can be enlightening because there are positive, incredible people everywhere.
Here are some tips on how you can meet that special someone and stay safe at the same time:
Put your best foot forward at all That doesn’t mean wearing your finest suit, but women find men quite sexy freshly showered, wearing a clean pair jeans and t-shirt. Always make sure you look your best, no matter where you are going.
The key to attracting the right people is to be that person yourself. Be prepared to meet someone at anyplace and anytime. Keep in mind that everyone needs groceries, a cup of coffee and clean clothes. You never know who you may end up meeting in the place you least expect. Blind date, but don’t date blindly.
Your friends and family may be a great resource to you. Ask them if they know anyone who they think will be a possible match for you. Many relationships start just this way; friends set up a group event or party to help single friends meet, or they simply help you set up your blind date. You never know who may be within your friends’ extended social circles.
§ Explore online dating.
If you are very shy, find it hard to approach people or are an introverted individual, you can try online dating. There are reputable websites that have built-in safety features to ensure you are meeting with someone who is not only safe, but compatible with you. A few websites where you can create a profile are Zoosk, Match.com, Our Time.com, Christian Mingle.com and E Harmony.com. Websites such as Our Time and Christian Mingle cater to specific demographic groups.
§ Expand your horizons.
While many people may go to nightclubs and bars to look for a potential mate, this is not where most long term relationships actually begin, and you are more likely to meet someone who may be struggling with an alcohol or drug problem at those places. If you, yourself, are seeking to change your alcohol or drug use habits, or you simply are not a drinker, these places may not be the best option for you. Other more viable options are bookstores, parks, libraries, continuing/adult education classes, church and the gym to name a few. Pay attention to everyday places like the bank, grocery store, the library, going out to eat or even your local corner store as you be overlooking someone you see frequently that could interest you.
§ Join the club
Joining a local singles social group, gardening, cooking or astronomy clubs are great options to find like minded people with similar interests. Attending art gallery and museum functions, shows, conventions, doing volunteer work, sporting events or even joining a spiritual group can be an excellent choice when looking for places to meet with interesting people.
§ Changing Alcohol And Drug Substance Use Habits
As you can see there is hope for those men seeking to find a meaningful and healthy relationship even they don’t drink or are working to change their alcohol and drug substance use habits. Remember to keep a positive, upbeat attitude! You never know, that special person may literally be just around the corner.