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I'm in a relationship of a year and a half,
which is suffering from a lack of sexual desire combined with the inability for my male partner to perform sometimes. He does smoke alot.
We are both 40 years old. My companion is also a transvestite; which may complicate the issue(s).
Sexual activity only takes place when inititated by my partner, (about once a week) and seldom involves traditional
intercourse or oral stimulation on his part. He most always prefers the use of sexual devices to bring me to orgasm.
I have a high sexually need, am confused, hurt and tired of rejection and even ridculed for sometimes wanting to satisfy
myself when rejected. Our relationship is quickly going downhill and my self esteem is suffering.
Posted by wife:
Lack Of Male Performance Drive In Marriage
He never wants to hardly to touchs me unless I ask him too!
I would love for him to love me allover like he use too! And he hardly wants intimate love, plus he smokes alot,
I think he would rather give up making love then his smoking. I just want to be touched again all over like he use to,
I`m the one that always issue love making 98% of time and I`m tired of it.
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I would encourage him to have his testosterone hormonal level evaluated just in case that is the problem. Another cause may be that due to his smoking problem he may avoid making love because of the way you feel about it. There are smoking treatments available, perhaps you can look into some of this for him? If there is no underlying reason as to why he doesn't want to make love then make it your mission to raise his libido. If it is just intercourse that he is against experiment with other forms of lovemaking together.
Posted by loving wife:
My husband does not want or desire to make love but maybe every couple of months. But it has now been 7 months and he still
does not desire for intimate love making. He is not going after anyone else.
I am at a loss to know what we can do about his performance drive problem.
When we do finally make love he finishes before I can be satified.
Then I never know when it will be that we will have sexually satisfying lovemaking.
Can someone help me to know what or if something can be done to help me and my husband. Should I get him some libido lifting supplements (zinc etc)
Well intimate sex simply cannot be good unless it has a perfect combination of kissing foreplay, physical stimulation and final sexual intercourse.
This entire love making factor should be completely synchronized in order to have better sex. Better sex is all about erotic enjoyment which arouses your partner into multiple orgasms.
Everybody dreams about having and giving the best sex sessions ever. Sex can be a major problem for many people, and not because they aren't getting any, but because they don't perform very well.
He has Male Performance Anxiety Disorder symptoms (when guys have trouble "getting it up").
Usually what happens is that the person is focusing more or less on the final goal, which is orgasm or pleasing the partner with an orgasm, and not really focusing on all the rest of what goes on in the sexual encounter, focus more on the relationship and the sensory experiences that they're having as opposed to the final goal -- more focusing on the process rather than the end product.
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