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I'm in a relationship of a year and a half,
which is suffering from a lack of desire combined with the inability for my male partner to perform sometimes.
We are both 40 years old. My companion is also a transvestite; which may complicate the issue(s).
Sexual activity only takes place when inititated by my partner, (about once a week) and seldom involves traditional
intercourse or oral stimulation on his part. He most always prefers the use of sexual devices to bring me to orgasm.
I have a high sexually need, am confused, hurt and tired of rejection and even ridculed for sometimes wanting to satisfy
myself when rejected. Our relationship is quickly going downhill and my self esteem is suffering.
Please help! Tina
Follow Ups:
Adam: At age 40 some men are starting to lose thier libido and having erection problems.
It may because the decrease in his testosterone levels, diabetes, vascular disease, substance abuse
(use of cocaine, marijuana, alcohol, steroids etc.), neurological disease, or psychological health issue.
And if he is taking any prescription drug, some cause impotence problems.
The key is to get him to a doctor for a check up to find the underlining causes of his behavior.
For the physical aspect, his doctor may recommend Viagra. I had a low testosterone level and the doctor prescribe Viagra.
The prescription drug treatment solution gave me the ability to have erections often. The Viagra pills also gave me
confidence in myself to perform.
Posted by wife:
Lack Of Male Performance Drive In Marriage
He never wants to hardly to touchs me unless I ask him too! I would love for him to love me allover like he use too! And he hardly wants intimate love, plus he smokes, I think he would rather give up making love then his smoking. I just want to be touched again all over like he use to, I`m the one that always issue love making 98% of time and I`m tired of it.
Does he need his testosterone level checked out?
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Posted by loving wife:
My husband does not want or desire to make love but maybe every couple of months. But it has now been 7 months and he still
does not desire for intimate love making. He is not going after anyone else.
I am at a loss to know what we can do about his performance drive problem.
When we do finally make love he finishes before I can be satified.
Then I never know when it will be that we will have sexually satisfying lovemaking.
Can someone help me to know what or if something can be done to help me and my husband.
Reply by: Zoren
Well intimate sex simply cannot be good unless it has a perfect combination of kissing foreplay, physical stimulation and final sexual intercourse.
This entire love making factor should be completely synchronized in order to have better sex. Better sex is all about erotic enjoyment which arouses your partner into multiple orgasms.
Everybody dreams about having and giving the best sex sessions ever. Sex can be a major problem for many people, and not because they aren't getting any, but because they don't perform very well.
He has Male Performance Anxiety Disorder symptoms (when guys have trouble "getting it up").
Usually what happens is that the person is focusing more or less on the final goal, which is orgasm or pleasing the partner with an orgasm, and not really focusing on all the rest of what goes on in the sexual encounter, focus more on the relationship and the sensory experiences that they're having as opposed to the final goal -- more focusing on the process rather than the end product.
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