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Posted by: Jar:
I love being with women. I have had only three partners in my life and I have not been able to climax and ejaculate with any of them. However, when I masturbate I can ejaculate, I have no problem.
Follow Ups:
Two other terms used instead of RE are more descriptive of the problem in it's more severe form....the form where a man cannot ejaculate with a partner at all, not just during intercourse, but by any means at all other than self masturbation. The majority of men with this problem suffer from the more severe form: Inhibited Ejaculation or Male Anorgasmia.
Young guys who have the milder form where you CAN eventually ejaculate, may find themselves getting the more severe form in their late 20's early 30's and beyond as their hormonal levels begin to dip (this is natural) and they need stronger visual and physical stimulation to achieve climax.
Why does this happen? Two of the main reasons are:
Some men get so focused on the sex act and pleasing the partner that they leave themselves open to a blocked
orgasmic/ejaculatory response. As one web site put it....these men who suffer RE and Inhibited Ejaculation are "givers" not "takers" and tend to be overly sensitive to their partner's needs to the point of subconciously neglecting their own. Many of them don't even realize they are doing this.
Also, some men masturbate with a hard grip than cannot be duplicated by vaginal or oral sex with a partner. If these men are psychologically suseptible to RE or Inhibited Ejaculation (ie: verbally or physically abused as children, or come from a strict religious background, are anxious, shy or sensitive and perhaps tend to suffer from sexual performance anxiety) the "numb penis" these men experience during sex can be combined with with a psychological orgasmic block to create the conditions for this sexual dysfunction.
RE and Inhibited Ejaculation not caused by an organic problem (diabetes, multiple sclerosis, SSRI antidepressents etc) but rather by a psychological dysfunction that sets up a block at some stage in the arousal and orgasmic stages of sex may be overcome by some method of distraction.
Overcoming this by distraction has proved to be very effective. One of the most successful methods of distraction is to have a television in the room playing an Xrated video. The couple places the TV set in such a position that it is easily in the man's field of vision. Many prefer to use a rear entry sexual position with the woman on her knees and the man behind her so that his view of the screen is unobstructed.
One man suffering from Anorgasmia and who had been trying unsuccessfully to concieve a child with his wife for 8 years managed to finally get her pregnant using this method. He reported: "my wife doesn't particularly like pornography but when our sex therapist suggested Xrated videos she agreed as a last resort. I found that during intercourse if I took my eyes off the screen and looked down at my wife, I would lose the urge to ejaculate and begin to lose my rection. As long as I kept my eyes fixed on the TV screen I was able to easily ejaculate inside her in a matter of two or three minutes. We were both so amazed by this that my wife agreed to allow me to watch these videos every time she was in her fertile time of the month and we concieved our first child in the second month of trying. I had never been able to ejaculate before wit any woman or by any other method than masturbation while alone."
In a commentary about this a sex therapist and psychologist said that it may not necesarily even have been the pornographic imagery that allowed this guy to finally enjoy successful intercourse with his wife. Rather, it was the fact that he was distracted by the images and was not paying too much attention to the sex act he was involved in and so the orgasmic block never appeared. The doctor went on to say that perhaps pornography was not needed at all and as long as the man was distracted enough "he could very well have been watching the 6 o"clock news and still have ejaculated during intercourse with his wife"
Tips:
Avoid masturbation as this can reduce libido
Reduce your stress levels and accept the fact that stress and anxiety can cause ejaculation cum problems with sexual performance
Go to a certified sex psychologist or psychiatrist, or a psychologist or psychiatrist who has had experience in this particular area, to make sure that they're well-referred and that they're people who are qualified.
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