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Im 32, turned on and very horny all the time. My wife's passion for emotional intimacy cannot keep up and wont take anything to help her get more sexual desire and satisfying response when making love. Is there something towards the opposite of viagra for me???
Sometimes, to get the response you want, a person needs to be taught what you want.
Not everyone knows right away what the other person wants (in fact, they may even be surprised you want something and
think you are joking). Be sure, you are not wanting something that is offensive to her and be reassuring that you
care for her even though she hasn't met your expectations. Also, be sure you find out what she thought she was getting in the bargain and be sure you are trying to please her as well.
If you take the attitude that she is the failure and everything is her fault, you might as well start looking for someone else who meets your standards now.
Besides, sometimes people just need a break, some time to "reboot" and take a breather and then they're ready to jump back in. Perhaps she feels like she's being forced to go further than she's ready to go right now. Many men would be quite happy to have any attention at all from a woman, are you really that displeased?
Are you confusing sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy? Women need the emotional stuff to feel the sexual stuff. We need romance to feel passion. And if your wife works, plus takes care of the house and kids by herself, she is probably waaay too tired to feel like doing anything except sleeping in the bedroom.
Try treating her the way you did when you were first trying to get into her panties...as if she is the only woman in the world and you would pull the moon from the sky and serve it to her on a platter, just to see her smile. Make her the center of your world again.
Arrange a romantic weekend away from home (even if you have to 'kidnap' her by telling her that you are just going out to eat, then have a bag packed and hidden in the trunk, and take her to a restaurant in a hotel...where you have reservations for the honeymoon suite). Meanwhile, have a cleaning service (or a really good friend) come in and clean the home while you are gone. Not only will she be feeling all warm and fuzzy from the romantic weekend, but when she comes home and doesn't have a ton of housework facing her, she will feel like dancing on clouds with you again.
Once you have gotten her this far, you will need to keep it up if you want to keep her feeling frisky....otherwise you risk having the whole thing blow up in your face, with her feeling used. Remember, the more sexual intimacy you get, the more you want, so if you are willing to spend a little time making her feel special, her libido should catch up to yours....provided you don't forget to keep the emotional intimacy primary and the sexual intimacy secondary.
Relationships, especially marriage, require an effort to keep them fresh and exciting. And as we mature, sometimes it gets harder to create the excitement...especially at certain stages where hormones start doing weird things. But, if you keep the emotional intimacy alive and the lines of communication open, the world is your oyster, and she is your pearl.
I don't think you have the problem. You and your wife need professional counselling. You might find out more about your wife then you though you knew.
Reply by: rainbow
Good for you. Wish my husband was. Til then, i have to be patient. Maybe she is feeling like a hunk of meat?
Have you ever used a bible concordance and looked up all the things God says about the emotional intimacy of the marriage relationship and the many roles of a husband--if you are falling short in any of these areas, you may be shutting her down emotionally. or perhaps she was abused.
I can tell you how to get some incredible counseling for both of you that really works if you are interested.
The thing i'm learning about my husband is that the more disappointed I am, the more he feels I am complaining and the less giving he is--he is just so insecure I know God is watching, and the truth is, i just want him anyway, so i just have to wait and pray that he will decide he wants help.
One little trick when making love, you might try in the meantime is to massage her all over with some lotion and very gently massage...
She may need a herbal aphrodisiac then, I just read about a creme that contains menthol and something else that you can buy that probably feels kind of like a sports creme--but not so harsh--apparently it really makes women tingle down there and helps them have a satisfying "sexual response" easier. You can probably get it online, I think it is called Viacreme. You wouldn't even have to tell her what it is...take the pressure off and massage her all over.
Stop and massage her feet for awhile. Even if she falls asleep the first few times because you are going so slow, then that's okay, the point is to get her wanting YOU so much that she can't bear not to have you.
Reply by: taonyaoselid
I know that feeling well--believe me--once you get her to a satisfying sexual response and to
wanting you so much on a regular basis, your problems will begin to subside and you can get her to do anything you want.
If it doesn't work, though, don't blame her! (or me, smile) Just get some help from God and from a doctor!
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