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"Male Sexual Feelings, Friendship, Bonding With Men Problem"


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Posted by Mark :
I am a 41 y/o man, married for over 20 years. I enjoy sexual intercourse with my wife, and masturbate often. My problem is that almost all my fantasies are about men. I don't consider myself gay, really, I have never acted out my feelings in that way. I have strong religious convictions, and would never want to hurt my wife or scandalize my family. I seem to develope these sexual feelings anytime I make a new male friend. I read that in males, feelings of friendship, bonding, and sexuality are all very closely related. Whenever I make a close male friend, I start to fantasize about him. I can make female friends and not really be sexually attracted. Once, though, I had a good friend and couldn't decide who I desired more, him or his wife. I work with a guy now and have a very strong crush on him. He and I are very comfortable with him, which brings me to the problem: I'm afraid that one of these days I will "let the cat out of the bag." I came somewhat close to telling him how I feel the other day. On one hand, I'm afraid he would reject and expose me; on the other hand I'm scared he may feel the same way. Am I just confusing friendship with sexuality? --Biting my Tongue

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  • Follow Ups:

    Posted by Court :
    My best friend has the same situation. He likes woman and respects them, but has feelings for men as well. what you need to do is have some alone time to figure out who you are. in one ear something maybe scream its wrong but in all reality it isnt. some people fantasize about certain qualities of other people, and if by chance a male co-worker or etc.. has something you wish your wife had it may intrigue you. The best thing you could do is take time and truly analyze yourself and what you want. Every person has thought about gay or bi sexuality weither there willing to admit it or not. just dont let the ideals of others stand in front of the answer, you are who you are, and be true to yourself.

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