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2.1 - BELIEVE what your wife says. If she is happy, then you should be too. You are putting way to much emphasize on size. Forget it, or it will destroy you and your relationship with your wife.
2.2 - Perfectly normal.
2.3 - The older men get the longer the refractory time (time it takes to get an erection again. There is NOTHING that you can do, that is just the way it is. Do you stimulate your wife's clitoris until she has an orgasm BEFORE you have intercourse?
I will write more after you answer my question regarding stimulation of your wife.