I'd play it cool, take the pressure off and tell him that its not important - if it happens it happens. There are other things that you can do instead on sexual intercourse, concentrate on pleasing each other with your hands, mouth etc. You may find that without the added pressure he may well get and sustain an erection .

I also agree with Rich, if you can get him to a doctor it would be good. Sadly though too many men don't want to talk about it. Though his symtoms are like men's performance anxiety disorder.

I hope he does see his doctor, but if he refuses to go, then it would seem to me that it will be difficult to develop a lasting happy relationship.

Reply by: MSH
Click For Men's Performance Anxiety Problems, Disorder Definition & Symptoms
Performance anxiety disorder symptoms (when men have trouble "getting it up") can happen whereby you do get a penile erection, and as you're about to have sex, you lose your erection, or it can be when you're actually in the course of having sexual intercourse, you lose the penis erection, or you don't get erect at all. So it can happen in any of those kind of ways. Usually what happens is that the person is focusing more or less on the final goal, which is orgasm or pleasing the partner with an orgasm, and not really focusing on all the rest of what goes on in the sexual encounter, focus more on the relationship and the sensory experiences that they're having as opposed to the final goal -- more focusing on the process rather than the product.

From Our Performance Anxiety Message Board