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Posted by lisa:
The past two years my husband's sexuality seems to have changed quite a bit. He is able to maintain an penis erection for long periods of time but is unable to ejaculate semen fluid to orgasm. After his feeling quite uncomfortable about this we have finally gotton to the point where he can cum ejaculation semen fluid with a lot of effort through masterbation. I know he is not really content with the situation. He is 49 years old and has not cum ejaculation semen fluid inside me for months and months. I guess in honesty it disturbs me as well (Maybe makes me feel less desirable than I used to be...) Anyone ever experience this problem???

Follow Ups:

• Re: tough to orgasm Stephanie (0)
  My Husband has a similar problem. He is 42, has never been able to reach ejaulation semen fluid to orgasm by masturbating and during sexual intercourse if he does get there, he is so physically spent that I worry he will have a heart attack. Serious. He went to see a doctor about it, a urologist who supposedly specializes in sexual health issues and I don't know if the doc was havaing a bad day or what, but when he explained the problem to the doctor, the doctor said, "Well I don't know of any man who has died of that problem." What was that?!?!?! He suggested that my guy spend weekly sessions in therapy. Maybe some of it is mental, but really.. do any men out there want to sit and talk to a therapist and feed him/her cash every week for this kind of thing? I mean sure, if there was a guarantee, but isn't there something else to help? He's asking me to search for an answer. He's very sexual and a great lover, so this is so devastating.
• Re: tough to orgasm RichT (0)
  "Other issues" provided you with excellent words of advice and wisdom. By all means, your husbnd should see his doctor. AND don't delay. Nothing is worse than the unknown. When we have knowledge (good professional medical knowledge), that will help both of you much more than you can imagine. I wish you both the very best.

  P.S. - I understand your feelings of being "less desirable", but being you are otherwise still enjoying lovin' each other, I assure you he still finds you very desirable. Do try to be understanding, and tell him how much you love him. He needs to have your support and love in helping him to deal with and resolve his problem.
• Re: tough to orgasm other issues (0)
  There is an ageing component - that as a man gets older, it can become harder for him to ejaculate semen fluid to orgasm. I know in my case, sometimes I just get tired out ( well, I'm 62 years old).
  1)There may also be a decline in the sensual intensity of his arousal because he is so familiar with his long-term partner.
  2)Drugs can be a problem too, both prescription medicines, especially some of those used to treat depression and anxiety, and non-prescription drugs for personal use. Many painkillers compete with testosterone for the testosterone receptors on a man's tissues and thereby cause a decline in sexual responsiveness; and drugs prescribed for lowering cholesterol or high blood pressure can have an effect on a man's sexual drive. Male sexuality can be a fragile thing.

  All in all, for help and advice, check with your primary doctor first to guide you in the right direction, to take action in confronting these issues. I'm sure the problem can be resolved and you'll see a differance for the better for your husband and yourself.
• Re: tough to orgasm Bindii (0)
  Lack of sensitivity could very well be it. Would he be opposed to having something (a finger, plug, vibrating bullet) in his rectum? Having the prostate massaged really does it for some guys. Another thought is a control issue. Pehaps he is subconciosly unable to 'let go". (this by the way is one of the biggest problems women have) If there aren't an therapists in your area, you could try one that willwork with you and husband by phone. Hypnotosism is a great idea especially if it is suggested to him that he is comfortable letting go. You need to discuss your fears of feeling less desirable with your husband, let him reassure you that its not you (because its not), it will only cause problems if you don't allay your fears. One more thing, has your husband's discussed this with his doctor just in case there is some underlying physical cause such as low testerone levels (which can be fixed by injection) etc?
• Re: tough to orgasm Tim (0)
  I had that kind of trouble cumming with my girlfriend for a long time. Actually, certain positions really turn me on incredibly and others don't work very well. I felt guilty because I especially seemed to have trouble coming in the "missionary position."

  Some of it is undoubtably reduced sensitivity. There's a huge difference for me--for example--between wearing a condom or not. A lambskin condom seems to work better for me than latex--but that's hard to say for sure, because I found out that my lover was allergic to latex a little later. Some of it is just pressure. Paradoxically, I found that as my lover got excited she became more "open" and less tight--which tended to be less physically stimulating. But pounding a little harder seemed to do it for me, again. We experimented with a few different positions, and that helped, too. Sidesaddle, straddling her leg; from behind and legs held tight together--different things seemed to work at different times.

  One thing I've heard that seems to be true for me is that most men and women need to be able to push with their legs and tense their hips, thighs and calves to come to orgasm. This basically holds true with me, which means that I can't really come to orgasm in an ordinary sitting position. I need to raise my knees like I'm bottom missionary, crouch, or stand on my tiptoes for best effect. The combination of experimentation and plenty of foreplay ultimately did it for me. Psychologically speaking, and probably physiologically speaking as well, I actually got too excited to orgasm at first. I tended to overheat and my skin would flush. I honestly felt like I had a fever in the 110 deg F range. I drank quarts of water, at first. Later, it helped me a lot to learn to relax.

  One thing that I never expected was the degree of self-consciousness. The thing is, coming to orgasm is a very personal and very private experience. For ten or fifteen seconds during my orgasm, I am completely vulnerable. Perhaps this is more expected for a woman because of the nature of the act, but it was a little unexpected for me. I might make a funny face or fart or something, and under the best of circumstances, I give up control. I need to know that I can trust my lover not to make fun of me. Stranger yet was this realization: sex with another person is an exhibition, of sorts--it's a show for one. I actually get a little stage fright. I think of sex as being private--but total privacy would be only masturbation.

  I'm sure that the idea that sexual intercourse requires a lot of trust is old hat to you, so perhaps I would just concentrate on physical experimentation, but it wouldn't hurt to lower the pressure to cum. It's obviously reinforcing if he cums every time via masturbation or oral sex. But a little physical frustration at that time might be a little more helpful. I didn't cum every time, and I didn't need to.

  Reply: MSH
  Click For Male Orgasms, Climax, Ejaculations & Cum Differences

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