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That pain your husband has in the groin area after sexual intercourse is very concerning. Is it this pain that your doctor thinks is because of the arthritis? If so, I highly recommmend that you seek the advice of another doctor and preferably a specialist. Your husband really needs to find out what is causing this.
Regarding "trouble getting and keeping and erection.", and "Not a condidate for Viagra" - Could you please tell me why your husband is not a candidate for Viagra.
Next time your husband and you would like to enjoy some lovin', may I make a few suggestions. Because of your husband's back pain, it is important for him to remain on his back as much as possible. Of course not all the time, just a good portion of the time. After some initial "warm up" foreplay, have your husband lay down on his back. Then you can straddle him with your knees on the bed and facing your husband. In this way he can easily touch your breasts, and you can bend down to kiss your husband as well as to let him suck on your breasts if he would like. He may find that this position is also arousing to him and will help him to get and maintain an erection. If you like to have him stimulate your clitoris, he can do so in this position with his fingers. Also, if you scoot up to his face, he will be able to orally stimulate your clitoris if you so wish and bring you to have an orgasm in this manner. While on top of your husband, you should also be able to use one hand to stimulate his penis. And/or you can just slowly lower your bottom on to his penis. Maybe even move it around a little which should help to arouse him. (It drives me crazy when my wife does this to me.) After you have had an orgasm, then scoot back a little and with one hand hold his penis and carefully move it so that it penitrates your vagina. Now you can move back and forth to stimulate him and also yourself. Back and forth is better than up and down. Up and down just increases the possibility tht his penis will not stay inside of your vagina. Take care, and please do ask any other question you may have. Oh yes, almost forgot, I'm 66, so now you know we can relate.
Yes, just for peace of mind, it may be a good idea to get a second opinion. Is your husband taking any medications for his heart that may be contributing to his erectile dusfunction problems? Some medications can have that nasty drug side effect. If he is taking medications, it may be a good idea to speak to the doctor and find out if his penis erectile problems can be a drugs side effect. Also, there is a lot of information on the internet regarding medications.
I am no doctor, and never studied medicine, however in reading your post again, the pain your husband experiences in his groin after he ejaculates sperm fluid still seems very concerning and puzzling. Here is just a thought. Perhaps your husband should make an appointment to see the new urologist and then an hour or two before the appointment for your husband to ejaculate so that he has the pain when he visits the urologist. Just a thought.
Kitty, do keep in touch, I'm both concerned and curious what your husband's problems may be caused by. In the meantime I'll check around on the internet for your problems.
Also mentioned is that not having adequate lubrication can make sexual intercourse not pleasurable. My wife and I find that a lubricant can greatly help in increasing the pleasure by reducing friction. Our natural lubricants are less at our age and so most of the time we do you as lubricant. Of those we have tried, Wet Platinum is far superior to other lubricants. It is very slippery and stays slippery for a very long time. Many other lubricants are slippery for a few minutes, and then become very sticky. One of the worst is Astroglide in our opinion. I hope this gives you some food for thought and some things to look into. Take care, and let me know if your husband has been tested for prostatitis and/or urethritis infection.

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