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    Story Posted by: Jennifer
    Hi- My husband can not perform when making intimate love. Also he thinks french kissing is "ick" and refuses to kiss other places on me during love making. I am not unattractive and I know that these are 'his' issues not mine, but I am fearing that he has deeper problems. I have begged for him to see a doctor and have suggested counseling but he says NO WAY!!! Does anyone have any idea whats going on? He is a healthy 30year old, on no medications, etc....I sometimes fear he may be homosexual or bisexual....or libido or any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Follow Ups:
    Posted by: Annon
    If your husband can not perform when making love then he is experiencing some degree of Erectile Dysfunction/Impotence. He needs a doctor's exam. Fortunately, almost all cases of erectile dysfunction (ED) are treatable. Historically, treatment therapy for these men included vacuum devices, suppositories, injections, penile implants and other procedures which have proved to be painful, as well as, embarrassing. The oral impotence treatment medication, Viagra, Cialis and Levitra drugs has changed the course of treatment for erectile dysfunction. Clinical studies concerning Viagra have shown improved perfomance in some 70 percent of men who suffer from ED. Maybe he sould have Lab Testing for low male Testosterone hormonal deficiency or libido problems.

    Reply by: Rudy Boyee
    I know this will probably sound ridiculous, but do you have a strong male figure in your life that you can ask to take some action? I mean, maybe an older brother or father or something, that can talk to this hubby of yours? Maybe it's bad advice, but on the other hand you said he refused to see a doctor, so this might be a good last alternative. It's much better than to start complaining to friends about this -- which will be horribly embarrassing to him. If it's "family", on the other hand, at least there is some assurance of discretion.
    But as far as specific advice, I would have to ask if this guy is generally healthy or not. Does he eat well and excercise? Does he do "sexcercise" and get his PC muscles strong? I mean, this would be a good start.
    Good luck. -RB

    Reply by: Richard
    Hello Jennifer, I commend you for trying to have your husband see a doctor and also a counselor. That is exactly what I would have recommended. It is so difficult and frustrating for you I am sure when he refuses to seek help.

    Let me continue - "he thinks french kissing is "ick" - I can't comprehend a guy saying that. My wife and I enjoyed French kissing way, way back when we first started going together. We have been married 20 years, and last night during our lovin' we were back to French kissing as always. For us it is enjoyable, sensuous and arousing. We love it and so should any other hetrosexual human.

    "refuses to kiss other places on me" - Unbelievable. It is so very enjoyable for me and my wife to kiss over her body for sensual stimulation. To get her highly aroused and have an orgasm. It may be routine, but it is a fantastic way for her to "feel" my love for her. I cannot imagine a male not wishing to pleasure his mate in such a wonderful way.

    Back to your husband, and his perfomance issues. For that reason alone he really does need to see a doctor about male performance anxiety. Have you ever asked him if he masturbates (99% of guys do and the others are lying as they say)? If he does, is there some way you can ask him if he gets really hard then?

    "I sometimes fear he may be homesexual or bisexual --" - I hope not, however from your post it would seem that is a possibility.

    Jennifer, even if your huwband will not seek professional help, YOU need to in my opinion. Please do seek the advice and counsel of a marriage counselor and/or sex therapist. The counselor will not tell you what to do, but will guide you so that you can make the best decision for yourself and your relationship. It will take a session a week for perhaps 2 months for you to work through things. By the way, many health policies will pay for a portion of the counseling fees.

    Lovin' isn't all there is to marriage, but it IS a VERY important part of marriage. It is such a wonderful way for two people to express in a sexual way the love they have for each other.
    I truly wish you the very best.

    Reply by SuzzyJakins
    What do you think about this thing called Valentines Day ? This is just another ocasion to go crazy and buy things and spend money on girls or just an ocassion to prove our love to our half? I really don`t know what to think any more ..

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